smart talk with elderly 101

Being in the healthcare set up has so many advantages, you get to talk to elderly and you are able to learn a lot from them especially since they would always say “been there, done that…” One of the memorable conversations i had with one of them was with a 90 year old lady who was married for 70 years with 5 kids– 2 of her kids were special, the other 2 were twins and the eldest was having medical issues since he was a kid. I was kind of impressed because she has a very positive outlook in life. It was so apparent when i asked her the question ” if you could change something in your life, what would it be and why?”

Her response was ” Nothing, i will not change a thing. Having 5 kids with 2 being special was very tough, there was a point when i was so overwhelmed and i have to make a very hard decision which is to take one of them to an institution. I didnt blame God or anybody, i was still thankful. I believe that every child we have whether adopted or biological is a blessing from God. He chose me to be the parents of these beautiful children, i am so lucky to have them. So many to thank for.”

I was so impressed by what this brave and beautiful lady said. She is an inspiration to everyone. She has a wonderful heart. She definitely touched mine, i hope she will touch your heart as well. 😊

While i was driving home from our new year’s party with friends, my son said something from his car seat.

son: mom, my friend A doesnt hit me anymore.

i: that’s great! why do u think so?

son: i guess he forgot about hitting me, that’s why..

i: im glad he forgot about it, i didnt know that you just forget hitting people

son: i dont think so too but maybe he wanted to be on my team, the nice team. He got tired of being on the other side. I do remember what you told me before, “treat people with kindness and they will be kind to me in time” and Buddha did say that “change is permanent” so maybe my friend is changing.

I wish i will have that kind of a forgiving heart. Kids are so precious, they teach us a lot, we have so much to learn from their innocent and loving heart. Cute conversations like this humbles me so much.

My son is so excited for this year 2017. He has so many plans:

1. to be a better brother
2. to be more obedient to the elderly
3. to play and have fun
4. to finish his homeschool curriculum

While saying this, he asked me as why is it always hard to obey and do better.

I honestly dont know how to explain to a kid why its hard to obey and be better but i tried by telling him this:

“It is hard to do better and obey because we are used to our comfort, doing what’s right and obeying takes courage, discipline and commitment. Courage is like being strong and standing up for yourself knowing that you are on the good side. Discipline is doing the good things you are suppose to do even if you are tired and even if you dont want to do it. Commitment is giving your 100 percent to what your doing, not 90 percent but 100 percent. Just like when you tell me, you like a certain toy 100 percent.”

son: that is really hard, sometimes my body and mind wants me to do wrong even if i know its wrong. I cant control it.

i: i know that’s why you have to practice while you are a kid so that it is easy when you grow up. When your a grown up, there are so many rules and obeying that you need to follow.

son: im glad im not a grown up yet, so many things to think about. Oh, as long as the earth continues to rotate, i cant stop growing up. Soon its gonna be 2018 then 2019 then 2020..oh no..

I started blogging a month ago, it has been my dream to try writing since i was in college abroad. Back then, it seemed so impossible due to my life situation, i didnt own a computer or a smart phone and it was so expensive to go to an internet cafe.

 After 16 years, i am now living in my dreams. I am so excited to be part of this blogging world. I know i have so much to learn but i am willing and open to constructive criticism and comments. I want to grow, i just hope that i will be able to have followers and fellow bloggers who will help me in this journey..

So many things/blessings/hardships to thank for…this year has been memorable for us…

i: son, what can you say about this year?

son: it has been a fun year, we went to so many places and meet so many people..i learned a lot this year, i am able to read and write…wow! thats a lot…

i: that’s great! you have to learn to appreciate the things that you have…that’s the secret to a happy and successful life…

son: i guess all people are happy because we always learn, we always meet new people and we always want to discover something new..

i: not all people are always appreciative of their blessings..thats why its always good to learn it when you are still a kid…

It is sometimes hard to explain to a 3-4 year old kid about bullying especially if the conversation goes like this:

son: why do you think my friend A hits me and the other kids all the time whenever we play?

i: did somebody hit your friend A first? was somebody making fun of him?

son: no mom…he is always like that, we were just playing then all of a sudden he would hit if he loses a game or if he cant wait for his turn. If i and the other kids can wait, how come he cant? i will not play with him anymore…

i: son, some kids are different. Remember what i told you beforem? in this world, some people will be nice while some people will not be. It is up to you if you want to be on the nice team and the not nice team…it is your choice.. we are always given a choice to be good or not. Oftentimes when a person is not nice, there is a reason behind it. I am not saying that its ok to be not nice. I am making you realize that not all people will be nice to you. Try to ask friend A why he does that then tell him whats good and not and that if he continues to do what he usually does he will not have friends eventually… if it doesnt work, tell his parents that friend A keeps on hitting you and the other kids and if it still doesnt work i will talk to the kid and his parents..

son: that sounds complicated but it might work…thank you..

A few months ago, one of my coworker visited us at home  during my 4-week vacation and she was venting to me about the situation at work, she was not happy and was angry at the boss. She was on the verge of handing in her resignation letter, it was that bad. So while we were talking, I didn’t realize that my son was listening while he was playing with his legos. It was too late when I realized it:

coworker: hi, how are you?

son: hi, I’m good…do you know what I do when i’m angry?

coworker: no (sounding surprise), but you can tell me…when i’m angry I talk to somebody and after a while I feel ok

son: oh! that’s good! I don’t talk to somebody, I just imagine a cookie

coworker: what do you mean? imagine a cookie?

son: when I’m angry I think of a cookie and it makes me smile coz I love cookies and then I become happy again…

(LIFE! I wish it was that easy)…Believe it or not, my coworker was actually touched by the conversation. She texted me the next day saying she drew a cookie on her desk to remind her of her conversation about anger.

 

 

christmas is the time of the year when i get so excited wrapping gifts..it is the time when i really miss my family abroad..now that i have kids, i am reminded of the kind of enthusiasm that i have had during christmas just by seeing through the eyes of these kids..

i asked him what does christmas means to him…my son said: “christmas is a special time with family,you have to spend time and be with them on december 25 or else you will have to wait another year to open your presents”

I sometimes take my son to the fastfood to mingle with other kids, the goal is more on him socializing with other kids than eating outside. While we were at a certain fastfood, i overheard a cute conversation between my son and a 4 year old girl about fear:

son: hi can we play? you slide then i slide then we play tag..

girl: i dont like to slide, im scared to slide, my mom says im afraid of heights, she takes me here every weekend so that i will be able to enjoy sliding but i still get scared…

son: oh!? i was scared to slide before too, i didnt know that it is so much fun until i tried..come, we will slide together, i will hold you..

girl: i dont know, its scary, its ok, you slide then we will play tag

son: but i want you to enjoy sliding too, i will help you slide..all you have to do is tell your brain, which is in your head– “not to be scared” and your body will follow what yoyr brain tells you.

girl: i didnt know that..

son: you have to try it..that’s what i do when im scared..i tell my brain not to be scared and it works..

to make the long story short, the girl was able to slide for the 1st time that day, i felt so blessed at that moment especially when the girl’s mom said “thank you so much for your son, do you know that we have been coming here for almost a year so that she will be able to conquer her fear and all it takes is a cute and wonderful conversation between kids and BAM! she is able to slide”

During one of my homeschool sessions with my son; he surprisingly asked me this question: “Is it REALLY HARD to be an ADULT?”

I was really caught off guard with the question especially coming from a toddler. Many things run in my mind…Do I look stress to him? Does he think I am unhappy? What goes in that toddler mind? So, I calmly asked “Why do you say that?”

He just shrugged his shoulder and said “Well, adults have to work; homeschool their kids; go to work; take care of the family; feed the family; pay the car/house/food while kids just play and eat.”

I finally answered “You are right! Adults have to do most of the things that you mentioned but remember what I told you? Things are not hard if you love what you do. Its not a chore if you do things with joy and love. Everything is easy if you have a purpose or goal. I think it is hard being a kid because you have to listen and obey the adults and sometimes doing that makes kids sad and angry.”

He just gave me a hug and said “I guess you are right. Maybe being an adult is not hard after all, it is just as fun as being a kid”